Couples therapy in Santa Barbara
Do you keep having the same fight — different topic, same painful ending? Most couples aren't broken; they're caught in a cycle neither person chose.
I'm trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (ICEEFT), an attachment-based, evidence-supported approach. Rather than refereeing arguments, EFT helps you both see the pattern underneath them — the pursue-withdraw dance, the protest that sounds like criticism, the shutdown that feels like abandonment — and change it together.
Couples I work with come in for
Communication & conflict
Repeating arguments, criticism-defensiveness loops, or conversations that go nowhere and leave you both lonely.
Distance & disconnection
Living like roommates, missing emotional or physical intimacy, and wanting to find your way back to each other.
Trust & repair
Rebuilding after ruptures — betrayals, old resentments, or wounds that keep resurfacing.
Attachment & boundaries
Understanding each other's attachment styles and needs, and setting boundaries that protect the relationship.
What to expect
Sessions are 50 minutes, together as a couple, at my downtown Santa Barbara office (27 E Victoria St, Suite F) or by video anywhere in California.
My role is to keep the room safe for both of you — no sides, no scorekeeping. When individual trauma is part of the picture, I can weave in EMDR and trauma-focused work or coordinate individual support.